Give the praise in writing

Leonard Lauder

• What's the best advice you ever got?

Chairman, The Estée Lauder Companies

The best advice I ever got came from my mother, Estée Lauder: She believed that if you had something good to say, you should put it in writing. But if you had something bad to say, you should tell the person to his or her face.

I learned this lesson the hard way. I'm chairman of the Whitney Museum of American Art in New York, and several years ago, I was angry with one of my trustees. I wrote a letter and signed it. But then I decided not to send the letter, and left it on my desk over the weekend. The following Monday I was out of the office, when a temp saw the letter and mailed it. The trustee got very angry and resigned from the board. To this day, writing that letter is something that I regret.


Truly golden words to be remembered.
I've read a beautiful article earlier.
A company owner, while visiting his steel plant, walks around observing things. He notices how a worker has a deep cut on his leg and is still lifting his heavy loads without complaining. He gets touched by the scene. At the end of the month, with his paycheck, he attaches a piece of paper with a simple line of praise for the worker.
He forgets it and things move on. He rises to higher levels and completely forgets about the incident.
Several years later, while inquiring for an address he gets lost and has to stop and ask for directions. He stops at a small old home. After few knocks, an old lady opens the door. Seeing his impeccable attire, she respectfully invites him in and goes inside to fetch some water. The owner wanders around the small room, and sees something on the wall that makes him stop. On the wall he sees his letter in his own handwriting, framed beautifully.
The old woman comes out and explains that it is the single most treasured thing for them in the entire house and very proudly explains how her husband got it.
The owner comes out of the house and almost has tears in his eyes trying to comprehend how a small hand written note of appreciation is the most treasured item for a person and his family. He vows to always write his praises down, so that people remember their moments of appreciation.

Human nature has a craving for appreciation. No one would argue that. An employee works best when he feels important in the organization. When my work is appreciated, I almost feel like I have springs in my shoes. I just have more energy to work than any source could ever give me.

Everytime my boss says, "Raghu I like the way you have done this project, good job" I feel good for the second. But I always wished for having something in writing. My previous boss, with whom I worked as an intern, gave me two performance reviews in writing. Those two sheets have been treasured ever since and I feel so proud looking back at them.

My personal experience also emphasizes the same. My most treasured items are hand written letters from my sisters. We may have shared innumerable gifts over the years, but everything loses its charm, compared to a handwritten letter from her.

In business again, the most valuable thing you could give to someone working under you would be a hand written letter of appreciation. Another rule for me would be: Always have written performance reviews.

I like other important point mentioned by Leonard: If you have a negative thing to say, say it on the face. So that he would forget it soon.